Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Here I go ranting about the perks of being a women again


So…I snapped out of my “maybe a relationship wouldn’t be so bad and I should take Mchottie up on his offer” delusion last night (that Allah that didn’t last long) and by snapped out I mean Dana sat me down and talked some sense into me and Mike showed me a video I made in a very drunk state on Saturday night and I am mouthing the words “I HATE HIM!” because he wont participate in my video to Mike where I drunkenly say I love you a million times.  So no fairy tale love adventure there which means I can stop justifying all the red flags because he looks so hot without a shirt on. Aren’t we all a little proud?

There was one conversation we had when he was drunk and I was sober (also another proud moment wouldn’t you say). We were commenting on a girl at the pub who was a little all over the place and he made the comment women should be pure, meaning he is labeling women as whores and skanks for sleeping around. Ya, buddy, let me tell you some thing, I have the strongest opinion on this, and I shared my opinion with him. He still held the belief that while men are able to sleep with hundreds of women, women can not sleep with hundreds of men because it’s not a desirable quality and she should be pure. Biggest load of bull shit to come out of his mouth all weekend. I have so many problems with this, my biggest problem is that double standard for women. Why should women be denied some thing that feels good, is healthy, and is fun just because they aren’t in a relationship? They shouldn’t be. Plain and simple. Men can go out every weekend and bang a different chick but women are suppose to sit at home and wait for this magically prince charming to come and sweep her off her feet? No such luck buddy. If I’m a whore you’re a whore and the whole fucking world is a whore.

Now I am not saying women can do every thing men can do, we can’t. There are things men can do, like pee standing up, that I will never be able to do. But I’ll be damned if men get the luxury of sex and women don’t for the sake of staying pure!

Also let me do some quick math for you, let’s say you are in a happy and healthy relationship and you have sex two times a week for a year, you have sex 104.36 times in that year (the .36 are the times you faked orgasms). You aren’t a whore or a skank because you’ve only had sex with one guy, but you’ve let him stick it in your bum, done some crazy things with a blind fold and whip and maybe even made a home made porno, you still aren’t a whore. You are a nice, wholesome girl, who has only had sex with one person. YAY!

On the flip side of that, lets take single Sally, and she has sexual relations with a new guy once a month, so she get laid, once a month, if we are going with the one night stand kind of deal. Sally has sex 12 times, maybe 15 if she stays the night a couple times. Further more that’s an extremely depressing number, 12 to 15 times, she better be getting a discount at the sex store for all the vibrators she must buy. But back to my mathematical example, she is having nice wholesome one night stand, man is probably on top, lights are off, no crazy whips or lube sex. She’s are a whore. How does that even make sense! Relationship Rachel in the top example is having sex 6.96 times more than her! And! Not only that but relationship Rachel up there is doing all kinds of freaky shit in the sheets because she is comfortable with relationship Ronald!  But Sally’s number is higher, therefore she be a hoe. Sorry Sally, not only are you having less sex, but you are the whore his mother warned him about!

I am not saying go out and have unprotected sex with the whole world, but I just feel like the same standards should be there for men and women, just be safe and know what you are getting yourself into with a one night stand because they aren’t for everyone.  And if you run into a douche like Mchottie who says he only dates girls who have never had one night stands, do like I did and lie through your fucking teeth. 

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