Nagging bitches and lazy men

I’ve been horrible lately about posting in here, I used to read peoples blogs and hate when they would say that; I think uhhh I have so much to say I could always write something! Ya, no, it’s not that I’ve been busy, it’s not that I’ve been taken a hold of in a world wind of romance, no, I’ve just been boring and Coupon Queen has fully lost her mind, but I am under strict instruction that I cannot write about that, at least until the whole situation has defused and she isn’t bonkers anymore. You may be waiting a while for that story.

I don’t have boys to complain about, because I’ve stopped obsessing over Melvin, he comes around every now and then; I just don’t care if he comes or goes, wish I could have had this attitude months ago instead of obsessing over every move.

But what I really want to tell you about how in less than 5 hours I will be making my way out to Gibbons, to go to BOONSTOCK! I’ve gone to music festivals before but the difference this time is that I’ve always gone with a group of girls, girls that plan matching outfits, meals, drinks, everything down to what underwear we will be wearing. This year…I am going with Mike and another guy friend…the difference between men and women is unparalleled. I started asking a month ago if we could get things planned out, they told me not to worry, that we would plan it closer to the date. Of course days past, weeks went by, and no one gave a shit that I was in full fledge panic mode because we hadn’t so much as planned what we were going to sleep in, let alone outfits. Let me tell you that up until Monday, my plan was to find a boy, kick him out of his tent, and sleep there, because that was the best idea I could come up with and no one else knew what was going on either!

 

 While over at Melvin’s last week I stated that I was stressed because out of the two other people I was going with, one was at EDC in Vegas and the other was away working, so we hadn’t planned anything. He said, what do you need to plan? Get food and booze and the rest will be fine. That seems to be the general attitude of men, meh it will work itself out, it will be fine, and we’ll figure it out as we go.  As a list lover, female and a planner, I can tell you I do not share that attitude. I need plans and back up plans, and these men had zero sympathy for my needs. Of course, typical male.

Women are by nature I think, naggers, because of our constant need to mother and take of things and people and ensure things turn out perfectly, men let us nag and panic, and they ignore us when we get into that mode, because they’re attitude is, meh it will work out. Think about weddings, women take on average a year to plan one day, in general most men would take a month to plan a wedding, tops, they would call their buddy up, say "hey man, I'm getting married, come get drunk and see me get married! I got the beer, you bring the steaks!" And they wouldn't worry about RSVP's, dresses, alteration, center pieces, nope none of it. Women will spend a year panicking over every detail, nagging to the grooms men about getting their tuxes and men will continue to put it off until they are ready. Women will yell and scream and not understand how he says he is busy so he can't go get his tux but really he is just going fishing and why isn't he worried that we wont have it done in time! Because men are not planners, they don't really think about the time and effort and the deadlines, that's what they have us for. We nag and push and they do it in their own time, and things will be what they will be.

 

 Trust me ladies, I tried with Boonstock to be easy going, to just let it play out, I cannot. Do you know how many fucking lists I’ve made in the last week trying to make up for the fact that the last month I have not made one list pertaining to Boonstock, 11, 11 fucking lists and I still don’t feel like I have enough outfits, or enough of this or I think I forgot that, and I’m still worried that I won’t have any where to plug my curling iron in…but it will work out and hopefully I make it back alive! Pray to Allah for my liver.

 

 

So my point? There probably isn't any use in nagging, in panicking, because it will be what it will be, but maybe men can take a lesson from us too? That maybe a plan before the last minute would help ease the stress just a little.

 

 

I'm failing at this whole contributing member to society thing...yet again

In less than a month I will 24 years old, which is only two years away from my scary age of 26, 26 absolutely terrifies me, I don’t know why but on my 26^th birthday you will find me curled up in the fetal position with wine, crying, I can almost guarantee it. So when you are almost 24 and you spend your Friday night, in bed, living in your parents basement, listening to Bon Iver instead of getting up and going on a date you start to really think to yourself “what am I doing with my life.” When you spend your Saturday night at a nightclub where the average age of every one in attendance is 17, girls scream “OH MY GAAWWDD I LOVE THIS SONG!” and “DO YOU LIKE TOTALLY THINK I’LL NEED ID,, you think “wow...this is what I am doing with my life, fuck.” Then when you spend your Sunday night at Melvin’s house drinking beer and hanging out you think “well...can’t get much worse can it?” And that is my weekend. In a nut shell...and then I reached a new low this morning when my gas light came on and I put ten dollars worth of gas in my tank and I paid with Loonies. Not even strippers who get paid in loonies have so little dignity that they pay in Loonies. But I feel zero shame, because you know where my money went? Boonstock tickets and a bridesmaid dress for Jenna’s wedding. Totally worth it. So when you see me pushing my car home because I have ran out of Loonies and can no longer fill my gas tank this week, know that it is totally worth it.

Grab some balls

We know that I do not claim to be a dating expert, at all, let us just take a look at my past six months of dating history, Mchottie, Aussie, Awkward man, and the last three months of Melvin...ya dating is not my forte. But in attempts to completely remove myself from Melvin, I am giving a new guy a chance. Should I get over him by being alone? Probably, but that’s not working because I have zero will power, so this is my plan b. I met him a couple weeks ago at a party and he seems nice enough, he went through a lot of effort to get my phone number, well he asked a mutual friend, but he still tried, he’s cute, so I’m going to give him a shot.

Things were going well, he sent me a text asking what my plans where for the weekend, I had none, I am poor, so I said that I didn't have any as of yet and what about himself? He had to help his brother yada yada yada, he was free Friday night and asked if I would like to do something. I said yes - that is where I pray that he isn't a big pansy and I see the little ... on the screen indicating he is typing. *Please don't say what would you like to do* and then he says it, "great, what would you like to do..." Fuck off.

 While I am not a dating expert I can tell you my biggest pet peeve with males, well not all males, as I am sure there are still men out there that take charge, but I am seeing a common theme when dating men, they are more than happy to say “what do you want to do.”

Don’t, that is not my job yet, I don’t understand why it’s so hard for you to come up with some kind of plan, take me somewhere, do something, anything really, pick me up and take our dogs for a walk, pick me up and take me to mini golf, pick me up and do something, but just show some initiative!!! But bless their stupid little heart, if I hear one more guy say, “what would you like to do” I am going to give him what my real answer is...I’d like you to bring me over a bottle of wine, leave it at my front door, leave and leave me alone to drink said wine by myself, and if you happened to bring a double cheese burger with bacon with said wine, I’d be a happy girl. So unless you are okay with that plan, come up with one. It comes with having a penis, you blow me away on the first date, I might just blow you. I’m kidding, I don’t do that on a first date. But really, if there is anything you do when it comes to dating, come up with a plan, show some initiative, girls like that shit.