While browsing through the internet, reading different
dating articles, I stumbled across this little beauty right here. Just take a
minute and go ahead and read that, it’s enlightening isn’t it; women
everywhere, the reason you are single is because you’ve chosen not to settle
for a man, you are 35 and single and have a baby-less womb and it’s all your
fault because you didn’t settle with that one boyfriend who really wasn’t that bad, you just needed to overlook
some minor personality flaws and you too could have had your happily ever
after, you picky, dumb, bitch.
I realize I haven’t read the whole book, and I am reading an
article that obviously paraphrases a whole book, but from this little article I now have
a strong desire to go find her, knock her out and then walk away, not read the
book.
This women talks about how women feel a sense of
entitlement, how we are too picky and we are judgemental. To her I say, hell
yes we are!
The first thing she talks about is women feeling entitled,
that we feel like we are awesome, and you know what we should feel like we are
awesome! It has taken years for me to get to the point where I say, “You know
what, I am awesome, and if you can’t see that than fuck you!” She is saying that
because we are told by friends that we deserve better, and any guy would be lucky
to have us, we are entitled and we need to compromise and let go of that sense
of entitlement if we have any hopes of finding love, and with that sense of
entitlement comes this women who is judgemental and picky, if we could just not
judge so quickly we might grow to love that man, with a little compromise and
less judgement, we too can have our happy ending.
As little girls we are told boys that pick on us, make fun
of us, and basically bully us, actually really like us. So boys who cut down
our self esteem actually like us? I don’t know how that message started to
little girls but it absolutely disgusts me, how is it okay to say to little
girls if he hurts your feelings and your self esteem slowly starts to dwindle,
he likes you, so don’t be sad that he called you an ugly poo poo head, he likes
you. NO! NO! NO! That boy that called you an ugly poo poo head needs his ass
kicked and little seven year old girl please don’t stand in the corner and cry,
you walk up to him and say “I AM AWESOME! I AM NOT AN UGLY POO POO HEAD AND
YOUR OPINION DOESN’T MATTER TO ME!” Then you turn on your little Velcro shoes
and you walk away, because you deserve someone who calls you a beautiful girl,
not an ugly poo poo head. You, little girl, be picky, find some one who makes you feel special from the moment he meets you, who you feel a connection with, do not settle for a guy who cuts you down, who makes you feel bad, who you don't really like.
As teenage girls we are in a constant battle with ourselves
to come into our own, we feel awkward, we are being judged constantly and have
to mindset we need to be a certain way to be in with the popular girls, or be
pretty, or have guys like us. We are cut down and judge by stupid hockey jocks,
the high school quarter back and basically everyone else who doesn’t think you
are pretty or special because you are not a size 2; we are cut down by our first boyfriend
because we won’t sleep with them, we are cut down by teachers for not getting
good grades, we spend years being cut down. Teenage girls are in a constant inner struggle because their self
esteem is constantly being beaten down
by their peers, by themselves, and everything else in the whole damn world. But
somehow we make it out of high school and we eventually come into our own and
once that happens we start to develop some sort of self esteem. We stop
spending so much time looking at our flaws and spend some time seeing the good
amazing qualities in ourselves and now you want me to sit down and think about
everything someone might not like about me? No, I refuse. I will embrace my quirky
habits, I will embrace my never ending ability to over analyze every situation,
I will embrace the need to constantly have a plan, I will embrace that sometimes I like
to watch Disney movies and sing along, and if someone finds that annoying then
he can just mosey on, he doesn’t have to put up with my habits because he loves
me, he will love me because of those habits and you know what if I don’t find
some mans quirky habits enduring then I shouldn’t be with him, there isn’t room
for compromise when it comes to that, because when I haven’t slept in days
because I have a sick baby and work full time, you better be damn sure I secretly
love how he drives painful slow, or his stories take forever to spit out, because if I don’t, I may just kill him over
it. My mother told me once with Kermit, the things that slightly annoying you now,
will drive you crazy 20 years from now. So I will judge, I will be picky, and
you know what I will appreciate and love the women I have become and am
becoming, because now that I FINALLY have self esteem, now that I am finally
proud of who I am, now that can finally see that yes, I have flaws, but I am
still awesome, I am entitled, to picky and too judgemental. Fuck her; you can’t
take away something that has taken years to build, you can’t tell me that I
need to settle and be less picky, because there may not be anything else better
out there.
She then moves on to talk about self love, you know loving
yourself enough to put yourself first, to be happy with yourself and not need
to be in a relationship to be happy, or loving yourself enough to recognize
when a relationship isn’t working and it’s just best to walk away. Samantha
says, “I’m going to say the one thing you aren’t supposed to say. I love you...but
I love me more. I’ve been in a relationship with myself for 49 years and that’s
the one I need to work on.” What the author of the book says is that if you don’t
want to end up alone, Samantha’s message is dangerous, proceed with caution,
because if you leave that guy that you just don’t love any more, you may regret
it, so don’t leave, you stay, and you love him more than you love yourself. You stay in that relationship because the fear of not finding some one who makes you feel on top of the world is greater than any thing else
If
you guys could see me right now, I am turning red from anger, I am slamming my
keyboard keys because of the message this lady is sending to women, girls, and teenagers
everywhere. We are given one life that is it, why would you waste your time
being unhappy in a relationship, of any kind? Why would the fear of being alone
be that colossal that we stay in a relationship we aren’t happy in! Why would
we stop improving ourselves, why would we stop growing to be a better person
because we may have to do that journey alone?
The message this lady is sending absolutely makes me
furious, while there are points that I’m sure are valid, the context in which
she is delivering them, and her general message that we need someone to be
happy, and it’s our fault if we don’t, and here’s a list of the reasons why, is
absolutely wrong. I don’t need a list of things I am doing wrong on top of the
list of things I am doing wrong in my head, I don’t need to be told that I
shouldn’t love myself and I need to settle if I want to be in a relationship,
that I need to not judge a man and be too picky because he may eventually bring
me some kind of happiness or better yet, he may be the only one to love those qualities that make you, you! Then once you are in that relationship don’t leave
if you aren’t happy, don't you even think about putting your happiness first, because you may regret it, because he may just be the last one to want
you, you may not find some one else! And that would just be the end of the world. I don’t feel like I need to compromise just because I want a man to be
there for me, I don’t need to compromise to get a fairy tale, I don’t want just
any man, I want the right one, and compromising won’t get me that.
So to her I say you are wrong, simple as that. Women you be
picky, you find a man that you love unconditionally, that makes you happy every day not just happy eventually, that makes you feel on top
of the world, and if there comes a time when you aren’t happy and you’ve tried
to fix it, it’s okay to love yourself enough to leave, to try again with some one knew or don't try again, and just love yourself. That being alone, out of
a relationship, doesn’t mean you are alone, it means that you are content
enough with yourself and strong enough to know that just because you don’t have
a relationship doesn’t mean you are alone. To the women who read this article
and sat back and evaluate their flaws, I am telling you to stop, embrace the
things that make you unique, we’ve spent most of our lives cutting ourselves
down or getting cut down, don’t, just stop, you are amazing, and beautiful, you
do not need some dumb women telling you that it’s your fault you’re alone and
maybe you need to sit back and evaluate everything a man may find annoying. You
are perfect the way you are and you will find someone who loves those qualities
that made it onto your list.
Not all relationships are never ending, some are short
stories, some are long novels, but in the end you need to love yourself enough
to never stop growing, to never settling, too never stop loving yourself , even
if you fear being alone, because the type of women who does all the things she
says will be alone, because she doesn’t love herself.
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