The boyfriend

Well, as previously stated I have a boyfriend. He is awesome, writes me loves notes, doesn’t fart on my face, plays a minimal amount of video games, he is sweet, loving guy and I know I am so lucky to have some one who doesn’t just put up with my mood swings but has learned to manage them.

But here is the thing about the boyfriend. He isn’t a good listener. In fact I am positive that most of the time he is to busy thinking of inventions (yes, inventions) to pay attention to what I am saying even if I am responding to a question he asked.

I had soccer the other night and my mom, sister and her husband and Jenna and her fiancé all came to watch. Let me start by saying I forgot how fast indoor soccer is and mixed with my smoking habit and ghetto booty it was not a good combination but I muscled through it and vowed to do more cardio at the gym (which I have followed through with). Seriously I went over to the bench and some girl asked me how I got hurt because I looked in so much pain, I responded in between gasp of air

“I am so out of shape I’m having a heart attack. I just want a cupcake”

So after the game I went to see my family and thank them for coming to the game even though not once did I hear  the “brr its cold in here” cheer from bring it on. When the boyfriend I were leaving the soccer center he said he was craving McDonalds’ and was starving then I’m sure his mind went off into the land of Big Macs because what I said next didn’t register. I told him that I didn’t want to eat McDonalds right now and to meet me at home and I’ll shower and we can decide from there. Mostly I was trying not to puke from running so much and food was the last thing on my mind but I knew after a shower I would be hungry.

So I go home in my car and he drives his truck. So I am sitting at home and by this point I’ve showered and put make up on making myself some what presentable and am feeling better and hungry. He walks in sits on the mother fucking couch and starts eating his McDonalds’.

Maybe I am just crazy but I just looked at him and thought seriously?! Then I got mad. All kinds of mad, not just because I seriously get mad when people eat McDonalds’ in front of me and I don’t have any but more so because of his complete lack of listening skills! THEN! When he had three fry’s left he asked if I would like a fry?! No! I would not like your pity fry! I would have liked to go get my own and I can’t even say it was the thought that counts because he didn’t think about me or I’d be eating McDonalds’ right now too. AND! I can guarantee he was thinking about the juicy goodness of a big mac.

So at this point I did what any smart women would do. I picked up the phone and ordered from his favorite place and got his favorite food. I ordered pizza 73 and normal I only like vegetarian pizza but not tonight. Nope. I had a point to prove and I was proving it. I ordered pepperoni with mushrooms and a side order of hot wings. He looked at me like he was going to cry and not even one part of me felt badly. I looked at him and said

“Sucks doesn’t it, don’t you wish you would have listened now”

And I ate that pizza right in front of him, I really felt like I won this battle. By the end of my pizza I calmed down and looked at his poor face, pouting under the blanket watching 90210 with me and felt bad. So I gave him the rest of my pizza. But I still feel like I made my point and will note that he has been listening better.