You know what I find funny, the outpouring of messages and
texts one gets when switching their Facebook status to single. Seriously,
people you haven’t talked to in years all of a sudden want to know what’s new
and exciting and are concerned with what you are doing on the weekend? Well people,
I am not looking to get my sneaper touched if that’s what you are asking. I’d
like to think that I am that important and they are talking to me for my charm but
sadly I think it’s my sneaper that is important and charming. Dam you sneaper
why are you more interesting then my personality.
But really, there are people messaging me I haven’t seen or
talked to since I was 18 and at the time I talked to them because I knew it
would piss my then boyfriend off. What I find funny as much as my sneaper has
not been touched by a penis in … a long time…none of these men are even
remotely close to being the right decision. Sure a lot of them are nice guys,
cool to be friends with, maybe one if I had
the right amount of alcohol and another if I wanted to hurt some one but I am
not drinking and I am working on forgiving people and not having revenge sex. I
mean at this point I don’t even think hot gym guy, who is now going to be known
as banana man, would have a shot because I am 99.9% sure I’d start crying in
the middle of foreplay and that would just be awkward for every one. Not that
that has happened before because I always make great life choices.
Basically I find it hilarious but well I’d rather text them
then the boyfriend, who I will from here on out call Kermit. I’d like the thank
my mom for that nickname because that’s what she called him as I cried last
night. I have the best mom.
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