I was just invited to the best party ever. A divorce party!
Doesn’t that sound like a blast? I’ve been to some great parties in my day; I’ve
thrown some even better ones, toga parties, lingerie parties, shot parties,
parties of basically every kind! I really like to party, that is not a
character flaw, that is being awesome, you should try it some time. But regardless,
you know you’ve reached a new stage in your life when you are now being
inviting to divorce parties! I think I can put away my toga and trade it in for
a nice pencil skirt and blouse and get ready to fully rock the divorce party!
Not that I can go because I will be in Toronto but if I could I would so be
there. I debated for a minute pushing my flight back so I could go to the
divorce party just to see what it’s all about! Sadly I think my vagina will divorce me if it doesn't get loved soon so off to Toronto I go.
But why not celebrate marrying the wrong guy and having it
fail? RIGHT?! I mean what better way to hide your pain and devastation than a
divorce party. You celebrated your love for this man with a wedding, which is
basically a really pretty, really expensive party; why not throw a divorce
party to celebrate loving yourself enough to get out of a bad marriage?
Some may have the opinion that this glorifies divorce and
it’s devalues the vow of marriage, for better or worse but if it’s worse, you
can have a kick ass party and say
"see you later ass muncher, I’m taking the house!"
That is not my opinion but I could see it being a popular one and if it
is your opinion keep it to yourself because this is my mother fucking blog and
I do what I want and I think you are wrong.
*My opinion is that marriage went to hell a long time ago.
It did, basically the same time we gave women rights marriage was doomed. I
could go on a rant as to why that is but I already kind of did a while ago in a
post here and I’ll save that for my first interview on Ellen because it’s
a topic I am actually really passionate about. Yes, I realize there are for
more important things to be passionate about like staving children in Africa and
bullying.
Marriage has fallen apart though, people treat their
significant other with little respect and we’ve become lazy in love. So is it
better to stay in a loveless marriage where you are unhappy? No, my friends, it
is not. I do not come from a divorced home, my parents are still happily hating
each other so I don’t know the effects of divorce on kids first hand and I've seen some kids really be effected by it and some not at all. I could google but
that doesn’t support my case so I will pleasantly ignore that as well. I know
the effects of staying in a loveless relationship though and I am a better
person out of that relationship than I was in it. I can’t imagine staying in a
marriage where a man or women made you feel degraded, belittled, unloved, etc,
etc, etc. So what is wrong with saying
to yourself I want more out of this life, I want to live while I am alive, it
was nice knowing you but I think you’re a douche now so you take the house and
I’ll take savings account and we can call it even. I am all for trying to make it work and I
think you should put the effort in but some times you just can’t fix it, so why
make it longer and more painful than it has to be? And then you go out and you
throw a party to celebrate loving you again and you invite me because I need
more single friends, people in love make me want to hurl, single people who are
happy with themselves and don’t whine about not being love those are my kind of
people. Let’s get drunk and make fun of our ex’s and the douche bags that ended
up in our beds after them!
* I am not even just making a random statement. I googled
and did some research to back up a statement that seems so obscure and
unbelievable and slightly sexist. If you don’t believe me go look at this chart here, women could legally vote in Alberta in 1916, so 3 years later the divorce
rate started to go up. Coincidence? I think not.
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