Words of encouragement from couples to us singles

Ah the joys of being single, it seems everyone has advice for us poor single beings. You would almost guess that a couples favourite pass time is to give us single folk’s words of encouragement. Couples are the poster holders in the marathon of love.

 Most of my friends are in relationships and it’s like they just itch to find that other couple friend that can spend their nights going for dinners, discussing books, new TV series they are watching as a couple, the things couple do now that their days of beers and wild sex are over.

So as the token single girl of my group I get countless offerings of encouragement and hope, these are my favourite

1. Don’t worry, there is so many fish in the sea – I want to know when this became the token thing to say to a single person? Don't ever bring up a sea or how there is a bountiful amount of fish, unless we are snorkeling, in that case carry on
2. You are so great/pretty/funny/random adjective, how are you single? – Thanks grandma still trying to figure that out
3. Maybe you should lower your standards – I don’t think I even have standards anymore, I just pray they don’t shit themselves on the first date now and even that has happened to me and I still went out on a second date with him
4. Have you tried on-line dating? – yes...sadly blazinpussygod420 didn’t meet my ridiculously high standards
5. You’ll meet someone when you least expect it – You know the only time I don’t expect to meet someone...when I am pooping...in a bathroom. Other than that I am always expecting it. Like a dating ninja
6. You have to love yourself before someone can love you – Do you love yourself? No one loves themselves; we are programmed to hate ourselves, it’s in our nature as women, unless you are Beyonce.
7. I’m going to set you up with *insert male name here!* He is absolutely perfect for you – if you’ve ever been set up you know that they are never perfect, there is always a fatal flaw.
8. You won’t ever meet someone at a bar -.Good I go to the bar to drunk and laid, not meet prince charming
9. I’m jealous you are single you must have so much fun, sometimes I miss being single – Right, cause not getting laid is totally awesome! Hey at least I don’t have to shave my legs
10. Maybe if you got out more you could meet someone – Have you been out? It scary. I like to keep my going out options minimal for this exact reason
11. There’s a guy out there for you, don’t stop looking – I thought I was suppose to stop looking so I wouldn’t expect it. Just admit it, you know nothing.

See, it seems like everyone in a relationship has some sort of advice to offer, maybe they feel sorry for us? Maybe they just don’t know what to say to us? Maybe being single is like a disease, I’m not really sure, but regardless none of us want your advice. But bless your heart.