Friday, December 21, 2012

I fucked your dad. sorry


Praise Allah! Abby and Jade are back in town! I can hardly contain my excitement! It is the best Christmas present ever! In anticipation of their arrival tomorrow I am going to share with you my latest conversation with Abby and Jade…

Me to Jade and Abby: Can we go out Saturday? Abby I know you fly in Saturday but you will just have to man up and you aren’t allowed to use it as an excuse

Abby: I meant to tell you that my parents are having a family get together and I want to invite my close friends then we can go out after

Me: Done. Does one of your besties include two men we can romp? Because that would be grand.

Abby: DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME?! Of course there will be no eligible bachelors to speak of at my house

Me: … fine. I’ll just settle for your dad

Abby: Justine that’s gross don’t say things like that

Me: I’m laughing. Can I still come?

Me: (three minutes later) … I don’t mean with your dad I meant to the party

Me: (ten minutes later) … you aren’t laughing are you. You should be happy because I am in such good spirits

Abby: Fuck you.

Me: I’ve already fucked your dad, you wanting to make it a family affair is just weird.

Jade: (laughing hysterically) Justine you are cray

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