Day Three: Cheers to me!

Day Three:

Well, I did it! I did not talk to him at all yesterday. Not a text message, voicemail, phone call or hand written letter sent by pigeon carrier, there was zero communication. CHEERS! Take a big sip of wine for me as we celebrate! I feel a small sense of empowerment but at the same time that longing to talk to him hasn't diminished at all, not even the slightest. I will say that I know today will be easier because I know I can make it through the day without talking to him.

I secretly hope that he is sitting at home crying because his actions ultimately put cracks into our relationship. That he is sitting there regretting every thing that got us to this point. He probably isn’t but a girl can hope. I like to keep that picture in my head instead of the one where he is texting Dana laughing and flirting. Oh wait, that imagine is burned in my head because that's what happened in real life. I have to push that image out of my head at least three times a day. At least that image makes me angry and makes me not want to text him.

Thank the sweet baby Jesus for my break up buddy, Jenna. I am sure her fiancé wants to strangle me at this point. She made him help me move on the weekend (as punishment for getting a lap dance by a dirty glitter stripper at a bachelor party), has listened to countless conversations about the ex, listened to me cry, listened while we devised plans for me to meet new men, and been alone while Jenna was doing drive bys with me or taking me for milkshakes. She really has been my rock through out this whole thing and I feel so blessed to have such an amazing friend, so this weekend I am going to go clean out her spare bedroom so that they can make it into a baby room. Without Jenna and the Taylor Swift song I almost do I would not have made it through my first full day without any conversation.

Over all it does feel good to have gone one day without talking to him. I really hope each day gets easier because yesterday I was constantly picking up my phone and going into my notes and reading them. Those notes saved me from texting him 100 times yesterday. It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken told me to write down all the good and bad memories and his good and bad qualities, I chose to write down all of the bad because I don’t want to think about the good at this point. That is just too much for me. I know there was a lot of amazing memories and he has so many amazing qualities but I don’t want to focus on those yet. Maybe later…you know, when I am more o.k. with the fact he ripped my heart out. For now I am going to focus on what got us to this point, which is the bad.

Love your ex girlfriend…you know the one you called stupid