Here is the thing; I never like guys who like me. Right now
there are guys asking to take me out on dates, to hang out, to fly me all the
way across the country, so I know I can play the dating games, that I can be
normal, that my awesomeness can translate across to the opposite sex but the
thing is, as soon as I think you don’t like me, all sense of normal is out the
window. I can’t stand when I guy I like doesn’t like me and I lose all good judgment
in dating protocol and make an ass out of myself. These guys that actually show interest in me
are all awesome guys, they are funny, smart make me laugh, probably better
picks then any guy I’ve picked since breaking up with Kermit, but they bore me.
They are predictable, stable, understanding, and normal. That is not what I am
drawn to. I pick assholes, guys who are emotionally unavailable, who have zero
interest in dating; one of them still had a girlfriend. Those are the guys I
like.
I will pick these guys and obsess over every detail and
conversation. I will drunk dial them at 2 in the morning (may have drunk dialed
SSM Friday night because I am an emotional cutter), I will say things to make it
awkward, I will do weird things. I am just generally awkward when I like
you. It’s like I never got over that
awkward 13 year old dating phase. I reply to every text in way to much detail,
I become clingy and maybe even borderline needy, I throw my life out the window
to bend to yours, can be talked into any thing and basically every dating rule
I told you to follow, I don’t .
I mean, I can do these rules, but only when I think that you
like me, in some way or another otherwise I can’t. When I was sure Skipper
liked me, I had no problem saying I didn’t want to hang out, that I had my own
shit to do and I didn’t care if he texted me or not, now I care, now I wonder
what I did wrong (obviously, I know, the signs are all there).
When I was out for dinner with Jenna last night, I told her
about my theory, about how I only like guys who don’t like me. She said she
didn’t date like that at all, if a guy didn’t show interest, his loss, and she
wouldn’t care. Most of my friends are like this, except for me, Dana and my
other friend Jimmy.
The thing is it kind of sounds like a daddy issue does it
not? Begging for guys to love of when they don’t, that has daddy issue written
all over it. Except the fact of the matter is, all three of us have parents
that are still happily married, dads that loved us and would do any thing for
us if they needed to and all of us have had perfectly normal up bringing. The
other thing we all share in common is a younger brother, who is gifted in some
way. Dana’s brother, Mike, is exceptionally smart (just like her dad), Jimmy’s
brother is a pro soccer player in Europe (just like her dad was), and my
brother is smart and gifted when it comes to things my dad is passionate about,
hunting, fishing, wildlife etc.
I mean, it could really have nothing to do with it; it could
just be that all three of us girls are fucked in the head, but I think it’s a
little weird, that all three of us share the same dating pattern, and all three
of us come from similar family dynamics. I believe I just Dr.Philled that shit
and it’s amazing I still work on this office job.
No comments:
Post a Comment