Day 45...This is why they call it work

Boss man and I have been doing so well lately. I mean, I’ve been at my current shitty office job for almost a year. I felt like we’ve made great strides in our relationships, we faced adversity, look it in the eyes and over came it together. We had been crackin’ jokes, swapping stories, you know, pretended to be interested in each others lives out side of work and for the most part he stopped screaming my name.

Until Monday. I don’t know, maybe I am pmsing, maybe he is pmsing, maybe the whole fucking world is pmsing, but it’s like we’ve taken ten steps back in our relationship.

I noticed Monday, he was grumpy, it was going to be a long day of me saying “yes” over and over again. If a person was to just record me talking all day and not actually see what I was doing, they would think I was having mind blowing sex all day (I wish). I say things like, yes, I’m coming, and hold on not yet, and just one more second, all day long and I get to hear my name screamed at me at least 20 times a day. Right? One would think that this would be the beginning of a bad porno, sadly my boss is not hot and kind of smells some times and he just wants me to do things for him all day.

Let me explain some thing to you, kind of like the coffee situation that I wrote about a couple of months ago, he does the same thing with filing. Accounts payable are in his office, so every time he pays a bill, it will sit on his desk and I file them generally all at once, once I’ve attached the bill to it so on and so forth, but some times he has just one or two random bills he will pay and I will leave the invoice on his desk, so he knows to pay it. Monday he had a random bill, he called me into his office and hands me the random bill to file. I walk the three steps to the filing cabinet and file the damn bill. That was it. I swear he just like get me to do things because he can.  What ever, fine. That’s my job, I will do it will a smile while I am screaming fuck you in my head. I was obviously busy writing a blog post. Priorities boss man.

So it doesn’t stop there, later on that day he asks me, where is such and such book? I point him towards our engineers office because that is where this book is. He tells me nope, it’s another copy and he can’t find it so if I could look for it that would be great. THIS BOOKS WAS HARDER TO FIND THAN A DAMN HORCRUX. I found it and I get  “great there’s two, where is the other one?” I DON’T FUCKING KNOW! I found one. That’s what you get.

I went on two horcrux adventures Tuesday. For random things, I was ready to have a break down. Things that don’t even pertain to my job, random things. I am the fucking Hermione Granger of office shit so I found it, but really, let me do my work in peace.

This is on top of the brown laborer in the back that ask me to get his high school transcripts and e-mail to a university for him. I haven’t done that yet, that is not my job brown man and unless you sign my pay cheques you can go fuck yourself (that’s as nice as I can be right now)

Then…the icing on the cake. He is sitting there with a file folder and he wants me to start to whole punch them with the papers. I am watching him struggle to change the sizing on the whole punch (it was actually hilarious, I wish I could have video taped it) and he looks at me and goes “uhh do you have a glue stick?” and I have him this boggled look like what the fuck are you talking about and say no. He asks me why…he asks me why people! WHY! BECAUSE THIS ISN’T FUCKING ARTS AND CRAFTS! I AM NOT A KINDERGARTEN TEACHER I AM A FUCKING SECRETARY AND IN THE FIVE YEARS I’VE WORKED AS AN OFFICE ASSISTANT NOT ONCE HAVE I EVER NEEDED A GLUE STICK! THAT’S WHY! Sadly you can’t say things like that because you get fired and I need a pay cheque because I am already poor even with a pay cheque every two weeks. So I am off to find a glue stick and I did because...again... I am Hermione fucking Granger and I rock. I am currently suppose to be gluing tank drawings to file folders but I am done work in a half an hour and playing with a glue stick is not happening today, I am going to sit here and wonder why Skipper hasn’t texted me back and over analysis every thing I said and did when we hung out Monday instead. Soo....text me back Skipper.