Day 57...It's Girl Logic.

I want to explain some thing to all the women out there, to the women who are crying over men while eating some Ben and Jerry’s ice cream because the guy you like just isn’t that into you and you keep acting a damn fool. We are going to talk about Girl Logic. It’s a theory I have, and a damn good one.

I made out with Skippers roommate Friday night, why? Not because I think his roommate is an awesome guy, on the contrary, I think he was kind of a douche bag. On any other night I would have ruthlessly made fun of this man.  So why did I do it? Because I didn’t think Skipper liked me, well I know he didn’t like me. He didn’t call me, he didn’t really ask me to hang out again, and I saw him with another girl, multiple times. It was obvious he liked this other Mulan looking chick. Lord only knows why, I couldn’t find any reason to like her, both times we awkward sat around drinking at the same table. Hell even her friend said I was better than her.  So why would making out with his roommate make him like me? It wouldn’t. In fact, it only makes me look worse. But at the time it seemed like a good idea. Girl Logic.

This is this Girl Logic

Boy I like/Girl Logic = WHY THE FUCK AM I DOING STUPID SHIT

You are probably thinking wow Justine, that’s horrible I would never do that, I am a classy broad and you are a mess, I am a dating expert and never do stupid things around guys. To you I say, fuck you, you are lying to yourself. You do it. Even if you don’t want to admit it, you are no better than me, because it’s not our fault, it is Girl Logic. It can’t be helped.

Every single girl I know does it. Boyfriend is pissing you off, you go have drinks with your girlfriends, do your hair and make up and go to the bar to “dance” aka get hit on by guys. You may not kiss another guy but you flirt, you touch their arm and laugh at their bad jokes, you bat your eye lashes and make sure your cleavage is bringing in attention. You like a guy and you know he is going some where, you go, and you make sure you look damn good, even if he didn’t invite you? Why? Because that is Girl Logic. Girl Logic causes women to do crazy things and we can justify all of our actions when Girl Logic is blocking your normal logic.

It’s what we do as women and I have named it Girl Logic. You welcome, now you have a name for all your dumb choices and you can blame Girl Logic instead of yourself. So next time your friends are judging you for a bad choice you made about a guy, you can say it wasn't your fault and that Girl Logic allowed you to do it.

We have a delusional sense that another man can fix the problems that we are having with a current man. Generally it never does, even just the harmless flirting, because even though you are getting attention from a random guy at the bar to make up for the lack of attention you are getting at home, you are still not getting the attention at home. But as women, we think that it will help and we continue to reason with ourselves that it will.  We lose all sense of normal human being logic and enter into Girl Logic. It is a time when good decisions are thrown out the window and you act in a way that normally, if you didn’t like a guy, you wouldn’t act.

Girl Logic is escalated after a break up, during wedding planning and when you really have feelings for a guy. This is peak time when you shouldn't be trusted to make your own choices, but we do, regardless of what our friends tell us. It’s the ability to justify almost all bad choices.  It is usually enhanced by alcohol and can cause you to  send an extra text message, call him at 3 in the morning to see how he is doing, and “casually” run into him while wearing your favorite jeans that make you have an ass like you are god damn Beyonce. Girl Logic is a bitch.

But here is my problem, Girl Logic, can’t be helped, it’s like PMS, but men categorize it as "crazy." Women are not crazy, we all know women who are "crazy" but if they were crazy they would be locked up, they are going through Girl Logic. They are probably normal human beings who make average life choices when their brain isn't being blocked by Girl Logic.

 I wish we could turn off Girl Logic because that would only be to easy, girls would get every guy they ever wanted (as long as they were in the same dating scale). As girls, we know how to play the dating game, we know what we should and shouldn’t do, we’ve read the books, we’ve given the advice, but it blocks something in our brains and makes us act like fucking idiots, like making out with Skipper roommate. That was not me, that was Girl Logic.