My knight with a shining wheel chair...where art thou?

When I was three when people used to ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up I would say a part time lawyer and a part time bus driver but I am a horrible driver and if some one let me behind the wheel of a bus they would be an idiot as for being a lawyer sadly I have a low tolerance for stupid people who don’t share my opinion and would end up just punching people in the balls that didn’t agree with me.

So at ten when people asked me what I wanted to do I would answer “marry an 87 year old rich man.” Grown ups obviously thought I was kidding but I really wasn’t. They would pat me on the head and laugh awkwardly that this adorable little girl was on par for the same moral level as a play boy bunny. I still think that is an awesome plan and I am holding out for my 87 year old man. After all a penis is a penis in the dark, right?

While I wait for my knight with a shining wheel chair I have to get some kind of job and actually I’ve been liking my job more and more lately but I still like weddings and event planning better so I am going to go back to school.

Here is the problem with going back to school…I drank for all two years of it last time and my grades reflected my commitment to the bar instead of my homework. Really I blame the school for putting a bar in between my morning and afternoon classes, either way my father has said he isn’t going to pay for me to go back to school, at least until I prove I am serious about school this time. Dam you dad and your tough love. So I need to apply for student loans, except it is hella confusing, seriously I think you need a course on how to apply for student loans because there are so many buttons and things you need to just apply from grants and student aid.

Then there is my bigger problem of how serious am I going to jump back into school, just do on-line school, part time school or full time school for a diploma or degree? Where am I going to take my courses, what about the boyfriend who I don’t want to punch in the balls as much any more, he can’t pack his stuff up and move with my across the country and support my poor, student ass, but that’s where the best school is and shouldn’t I try to go for the best school? How am I going to afford this because I need to apply to these schools and get accepted before I can apply for money from the government and if I get accepted and have to move I need to know the money is coming because the one thing I do know for sure is that I am poor.

I went and talked to the parents about this, Eggy was all for applying to the best schools. He encouraged it because I think he would rather see me stressed in school rather then stressed over boys. Coupon Queen on the other hand didn’t tell me what to do which is really what I was looking for when I asked her opinion. Instead she told me I had some big decisions to make and said I need to picture what my future looked like and make my decision from there but I shouldn’t expect the boyfriend to be in the picture if I choose to move across the country. Thanks mom for your cold, harsh reality check.

So I am going to continue to be lost and confused and avoid making a life changing decision, at least for a little while longer, hopefully my knight in a shining wheel chair decides to show up soon because that plan seems less stressful.

 Doesn't it look like this cartoon just pooped his pants!