Women's right? Ya right.

You know what sucks? Being punished for not wanting to have kids. Ya, I’m talking about the boyfriend or what ever he is at this point in time. I blame all these people pushing kids out at 23. I am 20 fucking 3, I am not a spring chicken but my biological clock isn’t even close to being up.

I have to decide if I want kids now and how many kids I want. And heaven forbid if I say the wrong number. It’s like multiple choice roulette. There isn’t even a ring on my finger but I need to decide if I see kids in my future or not and if I say that I don’t want kids then that’s  it? Goodbye relationship.  I am twenty three! How am I supposed to know, I have nothing figured out! I don’t even know what I am going to make for supper tonight but I need to decide if kids are a good idea?

There are things I know I want to do, like go back to school, having a successful business, back pack around Europe. Those are things I know for sure I want, kids not so sure.

You know what else sucks?  The idea of women can have it all. A great career, a family, you can get every thing you want! That’s a lie. One area always suffers. You pick your children and your career will never be the same because there are PTA meetings, soccer try outs, and a family to clean and cook after. You pick your career and you miss out on the first step, swimming lessons, teaching them to ride a bike. And if you try to do both your marriage suffers. That is what the divorce rate is so high. Women are made to believe they have to have it all; you have to have the perfect family with a perfect marriage and the perfect job. It’s unrealistic. You can’t just pick one and be really good at one thing; you have to cook, clean, play taxi, work full time, and pack lunches and be a sex goddess. I am not even doing those things and I am tried. And you notice what there isn’t ever time for? You. Men have lots of time for hobbies, friends, beer and their work but between lunches and baths when do you get time for yourself? You don't. Maybe a spa day once a year on mothers day. Other then that you are a work horse that has to look sexy doing it. 

You know what else sucks? When another woman comes in and gives your boyfriend some thing that you aren't sure you are ready for and he confides in her. She has her kid that your boyfriend loves and you have nothing. You are left with Taylor Swift and my good friends Ben and Jerry’s because you can’t do any thing. You have to sit back and watch because you can’t be the crazy girlfriend but if you don’t step in you see every thing slipping out of your hands. It makes me sick to my stomach. Especially when your boyfriend is a giant bag of douche about it but you love him so much you stay. Emotional abuse and you can’t leave. But you can't say that to him because then he will leave because "he doesn't want to hurt you." You can't say how you really feel so you have to slap on this big fake smile and pretend to be o.k with it. You’ve planned a whole life with some one, sacrificed every thing to make them happy, put your dreams on hold for theirs and they just stop caring about you. That’s what sucks the most. Knowing you've tried so hard for it to be taken away and on top of that he cuts you down to some one who is suppose to be your friend and she doesn't even stand up for you.

So that is what sucks. Just in case you are wondering  the only thing that would make me happy right now is if some one got me on Ellen or bought me Taylor Swifts CD and cried with me.