Weekend recap: Mchottie

Well, I’m alive, and I didn’t shit my pants and I had an interesting weekend to say the least. It was filled with vodka, wine, beer, a pub called Busters which reminded me of the dirty, old men hitting on me, one two hour conversation with Mchotties 70 year old mother about different races (like people, not the kind you bet on), a serious love/hate relationship with Mchottie, a shocking moment when I was corrected on his age (he is older than I thought), many airport camel toes and mass confusion when it comes to my feelings about him.

Really, he is the epitome of dumb jock, he doesn’t get sarcasm, at all, and we really don’t have a lot in common. If I was Carrie from Sex and the City he would be my Aleksandr Petrovsky. That is the best way I can explain it. One minute I am ready to kill this man because he’s pissed me off the next I like him. 

My phone was also stolen which makes it interesting when people are texting you all the time to make sure you are still alive and you have zero way to let them know you are because you can’t send a text that says

“he hasn’t killed me yet”

to your friends from a man’s cell phone who does not think it’s funny that your friends are certain you are going to end up dead this weekend. But once again I survived a questionable life choice and lived to tell the tale. On the plus side, because I lost my phone I don’t know if Awkward guy texted me but I am assuming he’s assuming that my lack of reply for three days meant that I am no longer interested in him, which I am not at this point. So that’s one way to get rid of a guy.

But I am now more confused about Mchottie and our little situation than I ever was before. I was ready for it to be just a casually weekend, but leave it to me to develop feelings for a man who has so many fucking red flags that he could be a game a minesweeper. I go back and forth and after a drunk conversation where he once again made it clear he isn’t moving but if I wanted to I could move in with him and go to school or work, basically do what ever my little heart wanted then the offer still stands. But in an equally drunk conversation I made it clear that he could dream on if he thought I was moving here and having kids a year later. Ya right, I went down that road and we all know how that turned out for me. So basically, that’s my story right now. I need another drink just to make sense of all my drunk conversations from the weekend. There was a reason vodka and wine and beer where at the top of the “my weekend was filled with list.”

Yes I know it’s also Terrible Date Tuesday, I will get that up tonight! Don’t judge I am jet legged and trying not to get fired.