Scream My Name

k, I realize that I’ve made my job out to be bad, it’s not all bad, and I like my job. I get stuff done, feel some what valued, and still get time for pinterest at least once a day, and I can wear jeans. Jeans are a big bonus for me because I hate dress pants; they give me a fly penis. For those who don’t know what a fly penis is it’s where your fly is really long and makes a gross bulge when you sit down and it can usually be found in mom jeans or dress pants. But here is what I hate the most about my job, besides the fact that it is not what I love to do, my boss has this incredibly annoying habit, besides just smelling bad some days. He just sits in his office and when he wants me he just screams my name. I don’t understand, he just sits there and yells my name and waits for me to guess what he wants. The only time that has ever happened to me is when I am in bed, you know, like with the boyfriend, and it’s usually followed with “Oh God” or other words, but it usually means I’ve done some thing right. But not at work, when it’s used at work it’s like a guessing game and I usually guess wrong. Take today, or most days, he sits in his big brown chair and will yell my name, so I stop what I am doing and say “yes” than he says nothing…absolutely nothing. Then I know it’s game time.

You can imagine my confusion when I first started. I wasn’t used to it any where except in bed and then it was used as positive re-enforcement so I just kept on doing what I was doing, like I would with the boyfriend. Sadly that guess was wrong. He didn’t want me to just keep ignoring him so he would say my name louder and I would follow with a “yes” or “what can I do for you” and than silence. It took me 3 months to figure out that the screaming of my name meant guess what I want and if you get it wrong jump up as fast as you can so I don’t have to get out of my big brown chair. What I don’t understand as this whole situation could be avoided with a “Justine can you please come here for a second.” That is what normal people would do. Right?

Personally, I think that it was very smart of me to figure it out after three months. So now, after I jump up to his screaming of my name, because I’ve guessed wrong, it is followed with some thing that he feels the need to point out. Generally these are mistakes. Generally these are mistakes made well before my time here. But regardless he feels the need to point them out and make it seem like I have made the mistake. I think he just likes to have people watch him work. Like WOW! Look at me put this invoice in the computer! I nod my head and head back to my desk and continue my work.  But what really gets me is that some times it’s just to make coffee. The coffee machine is between us, so I run to his office and he looks at me like I am an idiot for not knowing he just wants coffee and says “coffee?” I could have saved myself 5 steps if you would have followed my name with “could you please make coffee?” I am going to look up how to read minds on google so I can avoid hearing my name screamed 50 times a day, which one would think is a good thing, but when it’s coming from your boss it is not. Unless your boss is Ian Somerhalder, because it would be awesome if he screamed my name 50 times a day, not matter the reason.